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Hey everyone.....

OMG its nearly Christmas!!!!!!!!

I am ever so slightly excited, I love this time of year its full of fun, laughter, special family moments and PRESENTS!!!!! oh and lots of food and alcohol.


As you all know I have been waiting for my latest scan results which is one of the most awful things in the world...waiting and waiting for someone to tell you whether or not your cancer is still there, has come back full throttle or is laying dormant or even better dead as a dodo! The emotional roller coaster you go through waiting for that news is horrendous. One minute you are so engrossed in life that for a couple of minutes you put cancer to the back of your mind and then bam! like a bolt of lightening, that appointment comes through the door and you crash back down to earth with such a force and you can't think of anything else but cancer.

I have had several panic attacks these last couple of weeks, my anxiety levels have been through the roof, decent sleep is a distant …

welcome to the dark side

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Hey you guys!

How are you lovely peeps on this fine November day?

Ok, since I last left you all we have had some fantastic days. Halloween was pure amaze-balls. The kids had some friends round for a little Halloween party. Me and the house bitch even got dressed up and we decorated the house. It was lovely watching the kids all run round dressed up, competing at apple bobbing having lots of fun. We topped off the evening with a bit of trick or treating round the local village with a group of local mums and dads and their kids.

Bonfire night again was another fantastic time. I must admit I was not in the mood this year for bonfire night which is really not like me, this is the time of year I start getting so giddy and excited but this year I really was not feeling it at all. A couple of reasons: Its getting close to the anniversary where I left work in a distressed state after a rather  stressful meeting and the most disgusting comment from someone who was suppose to be supporting me, …

exciting times

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Hey everyone

Thought I'd pop on an update for you all to let you know how things are going.

After my last post, as a family we settled back into the swing of going back to school and the house slave returning back to work full time. The house is so very quiet like you could actually hear a pin drop! Its a bag of mixed emotions on the one hand after the weekend I can not wait for that slamming of the door as they all leave and the blissful sigh that escapes me and ripples out into the silence but on the other it draws towards the middle of the week and the silence becomes a little to much and I can't wait for the weekend to have them all at home.

I have been back to the hospital to see the urologist who again assures me that my last scan was definitely clear apart from my kidneys were a little swollen so he referred me for a Mag 3 scan....ever heard of that? Nope me neither so I shit my pants when a letter arrived informing me it was in the nuclear department and that they woul…

self reflection

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Hey guys,

It is that time of year again when our little ones all start their new school year and we lovingly pack them off with new uniform, new bags and coats, a wholesome pack lunch and a kiss and cuddle at the gates. We then turn around and you can see all the newbies, those with tears in their eyes as they send their babies off into the big world for the first time. And then there is the rest of us who have done this shit before and we have smiles of joy, relief in our faces and excitement in our blood that we can finally go home enjoy a cup of tea and that stashed pack of chocolate biccies you've been hiding in a secret place because you just don't want to bloody share.  I hear you!!!!

The start of the school year always brings a sense of new beginnings and a sudden burst of energy to try and better yourself. I have found myself doing quite a lot of self reflection these last couple of weeks and  I have come to the conclusion I am either A: totally insane, B: actually a h…

cock blocker

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Hey everyone

I know, I know I haven't put finger to key for some time and you have all missed my witty charm and sarcastic verse.

To be honest I've had times when I have felt on top of the world and then others when I could really do with having my head surgically removed from my arse. Cancer can really be the cockblocker of life. For those who may not know what a cock block is...
You know when you and the other half have had a bit to drink and you begin to feel a little amorous, the lighting is perfect (dark so you cant see the flabby bits), the mood is sensual (due to the amount of alcohol you have consumed), the house is perfectly quiet (the kids were in bed by 7 and are soundly asleep) so you jump on each other like a pair of rampant teenagers ignoring the fact your hips are making cracking noises, you have cramp in one leg and you cant remember being this out of breath when you were younger...and then all of a sudden you here...."mummy have you hurt your leg?" &…

ups and downs

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Hey everyone,

How are we all doing?

So I have just completed week 2 of radiotherapy and its going well. I was so nervous on the first day going through the doors into the radiotherapy reception. We sat waiting for what felt like an eternity, tentatively waiting to hear my name called. The waiting area is lovely and relaxed with views over some pretty gardens and I almost balled my eyes out when a robin flew into the garden and sat in the tree. The robin means a lot to me. After my grandad passed away a couple of years ago I saw one everyday in our garden at home and I just knew it was him sending me a message: "hello my flower" as he used to call me or " don't think you can get away with anything cos I am still bloody watching you" he always loved my cheeky ways. But I had not seen one for a couple of weeks until that morning sat in the waiting room and I just knew it was him letting me know he was there which made me feel a little better.

Whilst waiting an eld…