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Showing posts from January, 2019

We have a new family member!!!!!!

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Hey everyone,

Thank you for coming back.

It has been over a week now since I last wrote a blog piece and thought you would all be missing my fantastic sarcasm and wit 😁.

Since I last posted we have gained a new family member in the form of our very tiny but extremely cute and mischievous puppy Baron. He has certainly been a rather fantastic distraction in the midst of the shit storm we are currently in.





Despite his obvious disadvantage in height compared with our older dog Boris, Baron has done nothing but terrorize his older sibling. He is constantly charging at his head and hanging off Boris's large jowls by his tiny puppy teeth. Boris finds this both amusing and after a time irritating but is happy to lay there whilst his tiny friend continues to believe he is built like a brick shit house much to our whole family's amusement.

We are currently no further forward as such in terms of treatment for my cancerous fanny. I did attend for my examination under anesthetic last Mond…

A waiting game

Hi everyone,


Happy new year to all you lovely lot. How many of you have already broken those new year resolutions? I actually didn't make any this year which is not like me, but I thought well this year is just going to be that shit what is the point in making it worse by telling myself I need cut back on the wine, or the cheese, or the chocolate, or the bacon, or anything else that I shouldn't consume unless I want my ass to completely cover my wheels.

I am currently sat awaiting the arrival of our new double mattress that I have had to order because my body decided to recreate scenes from the saw movies all over my current one last month after my biopsies. I don't quite believe the murder scene bedroom theme  is ever really going to become a trend so alas we have a new one coming. No doubt tonight will be the worst night sleep ever because there will be no moulding of where my beach whale body normally starfishes across the bed whilst my husband clings on to the side for…

what do you do at 2 in the morning when you can't sleep?

Hi everyone,

Its actually now gone 3am, I did fall asleep but woke up and couldn't get my brain to shut the fuck up so decided that I would write a poem. Writing, I have been told is very therapeutic when your going through a tough time and to be fair I have always been good with the written word. It's far better than actually having to look at someone when your talking to them, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. Anyway, this cancer journey has been a bit shit this week and my anxiety levels are through the roof (this is completely normal to feel like your losing the plot apparently!) so I decided the best thing to do was to write about it.

So here is my poem that I have concocted whilst high on flu tablets because I am full of cold and had two hours sleep....enjoy!


We are really sorry, it's not good
You have cancer in your womanhood
This ain't right, it can't be real
I'm not quite sure how I am suppose to feel
Holy shit I could end up dead
T…